What you can do

They probably consider the Internet their world. No adults allowed. A word of caution, though. Don’t act like you are an authority because they may well know more about the technology than you do.

If you don’t know how to use the Internet – learn. You may surprise yourself at how easy, informative and enjoyable you find it. And you’ll be up to speed on your kids’ world.

It’ll make it easier for them to turn to you if a predator is targeting them. And easier for you to understand what’s happening.

Know which websites your child is going to by surfing the ‘Net with them. That way you can explore and have fun together. And it gives you openings to swap stories and talk about cyber predators.

Bookmark the sites you like so your child has easy access to them. ‘Bookmarking’ can be easily done by selecting “Favorites” from the tool bar and then selecting “Add to Favorites.”

You can also select a family-friendly search engine and use this as your home page; i.e. AskJeeves.

Monitor your children’s Internet activity. It’s easier to do if you place the computer in a family or a high-traffic area in your home, rather than tucked away from prying (your) eyes.

If your children aren’t deleting their Internet history, you can easily check the sites they’ve been visiting by looking it up. That is easily done from your Internet browser’s menu at the top of the page.

Set rules for your child’s Internet use. You can do that by limiting where your children can go on the Internet, just like you limit their television viewing.

A really good idea is to have an Internet contract that you insist your children abide by, with agreed-upon consequences if they don’t abide by the rules. We’ve included a couple of examples for your consideration. See Family Contracts.

You may want to consider installing a password-protected filter that limits what kinds of sites your children can go to. The password makes it more difficult for them to dismantle. If you go to your favourite search engine, and type in ‘Internet monitoring’, you can find something that suits you; or talk to a computer-literate friend, or a good electronics store.

Firewalls, which filter out unwanted sites, spam, emails and other electronic garbage, also work. Firewalls comes in hardware or software form. Any good electronics store or an Internet-savvy friend can help you choose an appropriate one for your family.

You can also choose to call your Internet Service Provider (ISP) to find out about their downloadable programs that contain parental locks on them. These are often free.

Talk to them

You’ve heard it a million times. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. It can’t be overstated. The best way to ensure your children are Internet safe is to keep talking to them, other parents, teachers and adults in a leadership position.

Encourage your children to talk to you about Internet experiences. Respond in an open-minded, non-judgmental manner.

Being angry with them, overly critical or punishing them because of their Internet experiences, will close down valuable lines of communication and increase their risk exposure to online predators.

Talk to the parents of your kids’ friends about the cyber predators, Internet contracts and teen Internet behaviour.

By establishing these lines of communication, you can collaborate on monitoring your children’s Internet use and experiences and support each other if a predator targets one of your children on the Internet.

Encourage your children’s school and any youth groups to which they belong, to conduct workshops on Internet safety. See Sites We Like for Internet sites that offer educational support.

Predator proofing your kids

By giving your kids some of the strategies the predators use (see MO of a predator), you provide them with what they need to identify predators and help them understand what they’re up against. And what they can do to not become a predator’s victim.

Encourage your children to tell you their stories about their Internet friends. Listen for and alert them to specific strategies the predators use, like:

• asking if parents are monitoring conversations;
• suggesting that they go to a private chat room to talk;
  offering gifts; or
• asking sexual or other personal questions.

They can use these as cues to get out of the conversation.

Tell your kids to think before they do anything outrageous on the Internet. They’re probably not performing for who they think they are.

Step #2: Keep out the predator

Half of those who were asked for personal information, gave all or some of the information requested.

The rule is NEVER give out private identity information on the Internet. That includes:
Full (first and last) name
Address
Name of school
E-mail address
Phone number
Passwords
Social insurance number
Mother’s maiden name
Parent’s place of work

Let your children know that it’s a bad idea to send photographs over the Internet no matter what. That applies to you too.

Once you press SEND, you don’t know what’s going to happen to those photos. Having read the MO of a predator, you have some idea of what they’re going to do with the photos or videos of your child. And it’s not pretty.

It’s a bad idea to post photos or video clips of your children on a website.

A good idea if you’re sending photos or video clips to a friend or relative, is to always get confirmation that they’ve received the email. And tell people not to forward photos.

Web Cameras

Web cameras are one of the newest tools that a predator uses to exploit children.

Most of the instant message programs have the capability of connecting a web camera to the Internet for live videoconferences.

Many of the programs have an icon letting other users know if there is a web camera attached to another users computer.

Predators sit on the chat rooms and games area and contact children with a web camera. Over time they encourage children to undress and do sexual acts on the camera.

Many of these predators have hardware attached to their computers that enable them to record the live broadcast and save it. The predator can view it again in the future, trade with others, or sell it for wide distribution.

Insist that your children do NOT have web camera conversations with someone they met on line. If they do, they’ve just invited a predator into your house. That’s bad news.

Insist that your children do not accept gifts from their Internet friends. That compromises them and plays into the predator’s strategy of making your children feel like they owe them something.

Step #3: Don’t meet the predator

We suggest that you STRONGLY advise your children against having face-to-face meetings with people they meet on the Internet. They risk getting themselves into a dangerous, or at least, a bad situation.

If they insist on meeting an acquaintance they’ve met online, make sure you go with them. Go somewhere public, like a restaurant.

If your children are older and you know you won’t be invited to go along for the meeting, insist they bring a friend, preferably an adult. Make sure they let someone (like you) know what they’re doing, where they’re going and when to expect them back. That way you’ve covered the bases.

Above all

They must NEVER have a private face-to-face meeting with someone they’ve met online.

Predator Alert

If you suspect that a predator is targeting your children, shut down the program they are using. If they go back onto the chat room or IM, they must re-register with a new user ID. Tell them to use the Ignore button to screen out conversations with people they don’t want to talk to.

Do NOT make contact with the predator. That fuels the fire of the relationship and could interfere with a police investigation.

Do not urge or bait a cyber predator. It could put you in serious danger.

Send in a report to www.cybertip.ca. People there monitor and assess all of the reports sent to them. If something criminal has happened (see The Law), they’ll send the repot to a law enforcement agency.

Police services are busy investigating cyber crimes of all kinds. If you believe your child is a victim of a cyber crime (see The Law):

Don’t delete information from the computer archives, including images on video cams and cameras. Police need this kind of information to use as evidence against the criminals.
Contact your local police department.